Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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