haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
