she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
