Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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