this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
