youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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