What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
