just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Please don't give away my fajitas
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
