I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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