can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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