So drunk its hurt
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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