a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When are your genitals available?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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