she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
