can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
