She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
