No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
