Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
