Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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