so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
