Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
