mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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