I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He literally asked permission to hit on me
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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