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she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize