I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
