And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
