chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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