How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
