he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
