...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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