id be glad to
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
