thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
