hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
