im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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