How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
