Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm bleeding and have questions
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
