If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
