she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
