There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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