That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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