this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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