He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
