there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
