the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Brb crying the tears of my youth
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
