I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
