Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
