So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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