In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
