ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
