windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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