I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
