Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
