It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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