I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Randomize
